With thanks to Chris at Notes From the Trenches for the idea - and #8!

20 Things You Will Never Hear Me Say

1. “I have too many books. I really should never buy another.”

2. “I love how I look in that photo – the camera really does take off ten pounds!”

3. “I don’t think my children watch enough television or DVDs.”

4. “I wish my kids would learn to ignore me and stop doing everything I ask them to - the first time they are asked!”

5. “My house is too clean. You truly could eat off the floor.”

6. “Tween-age girl emotional swings are a piece of cake – nothing to them!”

7. “Of course – clean laundry stays in the basket and dirty laundry goes on the floor. How logical!”

8. “I love getting my period. I wish it came more often.”

9. “How shall we spend the extra money we have this month after we’ve paid the bills?”

10. “I love cooking from scratch.”

11. “I can’t wait to go swimsuit shopping! Make sure to bring the camera!”

12. “I am completely caught up on grading papers and planning lessons.”

13. “The only thing I love more than spending time in the car with my children is running errands with a tired baby and a cranky tween. I think I love that the most!”

14. “The bank statement came today and I just finished balancing the checkbook to the penny.”

15. “I have a great idea… let’s go to Build-A-Bear! I don’t think you have enough stuffed animals!”

16. “Please turn the channel to Nickelodeon and put the volume up as high as it will go.”

17. “I am just too thin!”

18. “Of course you can have a cell phone, a laptop, a DS, an ipod, and any other electronic device you want. We ARE made of money after all!”

19. “I wish it were even more humid in Wisconsin.”

20. “I love exercising. I wish there were more hours in the day so I could exercise longer.”